States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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