She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
