At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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