I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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