i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Don't EVER smell your tampon
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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