Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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