dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
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I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
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Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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