he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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