I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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