Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
