Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
