We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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