that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
His hands were made for my vagina.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
