...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
