just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Randomize
