he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
