he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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