Ketchup is God's man juice
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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