Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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