Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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