Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
