I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize