I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
