She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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