It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
