It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
