Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
