So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
