I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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