I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize