This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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