My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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