she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
