Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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