So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
