Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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