Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
