yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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