Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
