Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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