i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
