I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
This is my gift to your gina
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
