His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
