the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
