what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
