I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
In America we eat man semen.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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