He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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