New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
