were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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