I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
