its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
