when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
