I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
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