think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
