You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
