turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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