My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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